“If our two loves be one, or thou and I love so alike, that none do slacken, none can die.”
~ John Donne (Good Morrow)
The weird thing that life is keeps throwing us major curve balls – unexpectedly presenting us with challenges and disruptions that not only alter our moments, but our lifetimes. 2015 has been filled with curve balls that made an immense impact in the course of my life; this has been the best year of my existence, surpassing 2012 & 2002 (Yeah, I rate my years… I’m that weird). Recently I was part of the #FeesMustFall student protest that has been causing unrest across the country’s universities (I may not have been at the forefront, but my presence made a difference in the course of history). But this year, nothing makes me more prouder than being Best Man at my older brother’s wedding. Oh yeah, the wedding… Didn’t I tell you about that? Sit down mpintsh’ yam, coz it was the most memorable night in the Klaas Family’s history (and hopefully,the Bunu family as well).
The Happy Couple [Khanyile and Amanda] — PHOTO: Laresa Perlman Photography
I’ve delayed posting this, as the wedding was three weeks ago, because I was busy being kicked out of res by the university *furious*… But that’s a story for another day. This journey for these two beautiful souls began as a story of patience. Boy was this nigga (Khanyile, my big bro) patient… His pursuits for a relationship with Amanda (his wife) were turned down numerous times, and when she finally entrusted him with her precious heart, she turned down his many marriage proposals for four years. Amanda you made ubhut’ wam suffer hey… But it’s all good in the neighbourhood. (click here for their whole love story)
She’s been a rock for my family. She was part of our family long before she uttered those two heavenly words that are: “I do.” 2011 was one of the most difficult years for my family. My father was diagnosed with Leukemia, a type of cancer found in your blood and bone marrow. We had countless trips to the hospital, hefty hospital bills, and no decent pay cheque to speak of. Khanyile, as the eldest male in the family, had the responsibility of holding the family together and had to be the strongest. He was the trunk holding the branches of our family tree. But then if he was the trunk, she was the roots, the main source of his strength. Everytime he had to update us on our father’s deteriorating health, I could see he was moments from breaking, but Amanda was there to help him keep it together and wiped his tears behind closed doors. And when my father finally succumbed to the disease, we never crumbled. I owe it all to her strength. She never needed a ring nor a change of surname to make her part of the Klaas and Amayirha clan (but we glad she did though…lol)
“I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is.”
~ Forrest Gump
“A woman is the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform.” ~ Maya Angelou — PHOTO: Laresa Perlman Photography
The step that followed from there on were moments I have already shared with you… the Lobola negotiations [check out MY FIRST LOBOLA EXPERIENCE and MY FIRST LOBOLA EXPERIENCE… PART 2]. Those were dope, and very successful… Hence we had the wedding. Duh!
Left to Right – Xolani (Groom’s Man/Step Choreographer), My Big Sister Khanyiswa, Me (The Best Man)
Left to Right – Sihle (Bride’s Maid) & Thulisa (Maid of Honour) — PHOTO: Laresa Perlman Photography
Fast forward to the wedding. The wedding was to be on Saturday, October 31st, so I arrived home, in Ashton, two days earlier. Usually, long distance taxi rides are as comfortable as a colonoscopy, but this one, I must say, was very pleasant. The day before the wedding, the Rolihlahla Community hall was unrecognizable with the Top Billing décor that produced endless ooohhh’s & aaahhh’s. Family members flooded in from all corners of the earth (including uJolakazi a.k.a Debbie, my favourite cousin in the world whom I hadn’t seen in two years). But it dearly warmed my heart when two friends and classmates of mine, Akhona & Sethu, arrived to share this wonderful time in my family. I ran around like a headless chicken ’till the early hours of Saturday morning, while Xolani was left bullshitting Debbie to hysterical laughter and Akhona & Sethu took countless bedroom selfies. But we finally got about four hours of sleep.
The boys in the front though… lol
The next morning we got dressed and looked like movie stars ready to party like rock stars. The day was just surreal to me. I couldn’t believe how good my family looked. I mean it was normal to see my mother, a.k.a the diva of the family, all dressed up, but uMakazi (my aunt) and my sister looked really amazing. With million dollar, balloons taped onto cars and wedding songs reverberating around the house, we were ready to be on our way to the N.G.K. Church in town, where the matrimonial ceremony was to be held. But first… a prayer. I’m not sure as to who was praying, but I so wished it was my father saying that last prayer in my brother’s bachelorhood.
“You may kiss your bride.” PHOTO: Laresa Pearlman
We left to loud but sweet-sounding car hoots. “You’re getting married, bra!”, Xolani kept reminding my nervous brother during the car ride. We arrived; our family and friends took their seats. Then we, Abenathi & Olwethu, Xolani & I, then the groom walking with my uncle, entered to the sweet sounds of the soulful Nathi’s “Nomakanjani”. We had a long nervous wait, with the first few seconds of the wait seeing some tears streaming down my face. The Bunu family arrived and took their seats. Then, the two flower girls, Sihle &Thulisa (the maid of honor), Nandi (matron of honor), then the blushing bride bride with an elder family member, entered to the sounds of Jennifer Hudson’s “Give Myself”. You’d page a whole dictionary looking for an intense synonym for beautiful to describe her. The were long speeches by the pastor, but let’s skip to the vows… No eye in the church building was dry, as the groom pleaded with his bride to never forsake his mother, as she stuck with our father through thick and thin to make him the man he is today. An amusing moment occurred as the rings were being exchanged. “I don’t care even if you’re washing the car, Khanyile – I want to see this ring on your finger!”, Amanda demanded of the groom.
After the ceremony, the bride and groom left in style – being driven in a sleek 2015 Maseratti Ghibli (which I never got a chance to ride in *furious*). After taking some amazing pics, we made our way to the reception. We entered the hall to the jamming sound of Black Coffee’s “We Dance Again” and killed it with our own version of the “Nae-Nae” dance…lol… Later on, my best friend and classmate, Siphosethu Phikelela, wowed the guests with her enchanting IsiXhosa poetry. The food was stupendous, the company amazing, and the night unforgettable.
The following day was the traditional ceremony. The day was wet with rain, but no rain could dampen our families’ spirits. Presents were brought, the singing was loud, and sheep were slaughtered and turned into delectable mutton and lamb chops. The Bunu family brought their bride to us one last time with songs, but were blocked at the gate by the women of the Amayirha clan. Then the battle of traditional songs ensued. I, my cousin Debbie and my classmates (Akhona & Siphosethu) didn’t experience the traditional ceremony that much as we had to leave for Cape Town later that day.
What I have learnt is that, none of these families lost a son or a daughter to the other, they instead gained a son and the other a daughter. For the love these two families share has synchronized them into one entity. LOVE IS LIKE YOUR HEART, IT ONLY BEATS FOR ONE.
Here are the pictures of the day. A special thanks goes to the amazing talents of Laresa Pearlman, the photographer.
Nathi looking like he just saw a naked woman on the side lol PHOTO: Laresa Pearlman Photography
Olwethu & Bonga Bunu (who caught the garter)
Bonga (middle) with Siphosethu the Poet (Left) and Akhona (Right)
‘Till Next Time Peeps, BHABHAYINI!